At work, the same diversity of perspective that fuels innovation can easily derail collaboration or spark conflict. Under the pressure of deadlines and performance metrics, we drive to convince our colleagues of our point of view, and sideline anything that threatens what we feel compelled to defend.
For Better Negotiations, Cut “But” from Your Vocabulary
This one little word can dramatically shift the tone of a conversation.
August 19, 2022
HBR Staff/MirageC/Getty Images
Summary.
It’s hard to think of a word that triggers more reactivity and drains more trust from conversation than “but.” Notice how often you hear it (and say it) when you’re negotiating or arguing. Notice how this one word changes the temperature and tone in the moment. To prevent the damage that “but” inflicts, the author offers three hacks: 1) Focus on what’s said before “but,” 2) Replace “but” with curiosity, and 3) Stop before the “but.” Each of these moves requires courage, patience, and practice — and the return on investment is impressive.
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Accelerate your career with Harvard ManageMentor®. HBR Learning’s online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Writing Skills. Earn badges to share on LinkedIn and your resume. Access more than 40 courses trusted by Fortune 500 companies.
Capture your audience's attention with smarter emails, Slacks, memos, and reports.