“It is almost impossible to progress through a career untouched by incivility,” the author writes. Over the past 20 years she has polled thousands of workers: 98% have experienced uncivil behavior, and 99% have witnessed it. In 2011 half said they were treated rudely at least once a week—up from a quarter in 1998. Rude behavior ranged from outright nastiness and undermining to ignoring people’s opinions to checking e-mail during meetings. Observing or experiencing rude behavior impairs short-term memory and thus cognitive ability, and has been shown to damage the immune system, put a strain on families, and produce other deleterious effects.
Porath has identified some tactics to minimize the effects of rudeness on performance and health. The most effective remedy, she says, is to work holistically on your well-being, rather than trying to change the perpetrator or the relationship. She suggests a two-pronged approach: Take steps to thrive cognitively, which includes growth, momentum, and continual learning; and take steps to thrive affectively, which means experiencing passion, excitement, and vitality at work.
When I was 22, I scored what I thought was my dream job. I moved from the snowy Midwest to sunny Florida with a group of fellow former college athletes to help a global athletic brand launch a sports academy. But within two years I and many of my peers had left our jobs.
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